I’ve been blogging for about two years now. This whole journey has been such a learning process for me. When I started writing back in 2014, I had no idea that I was about to discover another passion of mine.
I was in my third year at Utica College when I saw a job opening for a student blogger. I didn’t know a whole heck of a lot when it came to that (and still don’t!), but, it sounded so interesting, and I was pretty sure it would be something I enjoyed. So, I took the leap, my application was accepted, and I soon became an official student blogger for Utica College.
I absolutely loved my job. My requirements were to write about events going on in and around campus, as well as the community. Basically, anything was acceptable as long as it had something to do with college life or community topics.
Gradually, I found my voice and realized that I loved to give people advice, or share my stories with other college students. Sharing helpful hints to my peers became a regular part of my writing. Anytime someone shared or commented, it felt so great. Especially because I was relieved to have finally found my talent. (It only took me 20 years of nonstop searching.)
When I graduated from college, I knew that I still wanted to write. I still wanted my voice to be heard, and I still had an incredible desire to help others – in some way. So, I dubbed myself “The Positive Princess” and jumped in all the way into blogging. And completely drowned.
I did build a following – which was terrific. I managed to have a couple of my blogs go viral and be published on other blogging sites. I got to make friends with a few people who lived a billion miles away from me, but who loved to write and have an impact on people as much as I did. *Shoutout to Jenifer Fair – the founder of Shoutout Radiance! Seriously guys, check out her work. She’s so inspirational and is going to change so many lives!*
Somewhere along the way though, I lost my fire. I lost my passion for writing. I lost my focus. It was becoming more like a chore than a cathartic hobby. I was caught up in reading about becoming a professional blogger, and striving to be the perfect writer. The more I read about blogging, the more I wanted to achieve success and be that perfect blogger.
I would sit at the computer every night, trying to write something that would be meaningful, positive, profound, and successful. When that didn’t happen, sometimes I would publish something, just to publish. After all, all of the tips on blogging said that 2-3 posts per week was the norm!
When I couldn’t think of a single thing, when I felt negative, or that article didn’t do as well as I hoped, I punished myself. I beat myself up and completely lost all confidence in writing. It took me a little while to realize that the way I was approaching writing….was all wrong. I felt a stirring in me to take a little breather from writing, to gain my focus back, and to completely start over. And that is what I am doing…
I am breaking free from my need to be perfect. I am breaking free from the need for likes, shares, and comments on social media.
I don’t want glory or success. I don’t want praise. I don’t want compliments.
What I want, is to make a positive impact in this world. If that can be done through my writing, then that will be enough for me.
If my story about my anxiety, my depression, or just my life in general can change someone, my heart will be filled with joy.
I want to focus on being real in my writing. Being myself. Being unedited. I want to build a blog that matters. That people can identify with. I want to inspire others – in the hopes that someone out there will read my words and know that they are not or never will be alone.
I plan to be an open book in this blog. Completely vulnerable. Which, scares me a little bit, but that is what is tugging at my heart. I don’t plan to be all sunshine and rainbows all of the time. Because that’s not reality. BUT; I do plan to be as encouraging as possible, walking down the path that my Lord and Savior put me on. And, I hope you’ll join me.
Prayer: Lord, as I begin this new writing adventure, help me to focus on what YOU want me to put into the world. Let me be a positive light to others, and let me bring the light of Your love into others. Please walk beside me and guide my way. Use me as an imperfect vessel to reach out to those in need. I accept Your will for my life, today and always. Amen.