10 Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

“All the things that break you, are all the things that make you strong. You can’t change the past ’cause it’s gone. You just gotta move on because it’s all lessons learned.”

~Carrie Underwood

They say some lessons need to be learned the hard way. That’s so, ridiculously and unbelievably true. Some people (bless their hearts) learn life’s little teachable moments, easily. Others, like myself, have to be hit in the head with a two-by-four in order to actually understand what the hell is freaking happening.

In my soon-to-be 23 years of young life, I’ve experienced and learned things that I never imagined that I would have to. If I knew then, what I know now, I would’ve done my life a whole lot differently. Or, at least tried to make fewer mistakes. But, sadly, there is no rewind button, no do-over option. All we can do is grow, move on, and nurture those mistakes and regrets that wound us.


Here’s the top 10 lessons that I, (unfortunately) learned the hard way:

  1. Life is short, love is sweet, time is precious. Don’t waste a single second of your life holding grudges or being upset, especially at people you love. They won’t be around forever. Choose your words carefully, and wisely, and always remember that actions speak louder than any words ever could.

  2. Always turn to your family. People say that blood is thicker than water, and you know what? They’re right! In the tough times, in your darkest hour, turn to your side and there you will see your family supporting you, lifting you up, and holding your hand. Nothing is more important than those people. Seriously, love the freaking shit out of all of them, before it’s too late.

  3. Choose your friends with caution. Friendship is one of life’s greatest gifts, and it shouldn’t be taken for granted. But, I’ve learned that not everyone you meet throughout the course of your life, will be (or stay) your friend. I’ve learned that sometimes, the people whom you opened your heart and soul to, the ones you trusted not to hurt you, the ones you thought would always care, would always treat you with kindness, will give you some of the biggest heartaches you will ever experience. But, when that happens, you somehow grow stronger.


  4. When people leave, wave goodbye and don’t look back. People blow in and out of our lives as quickly as the wind. When their part in your story is over, let go willingly and gracefully. Don’t spend your time chasing people who were never meant to stay. Be thankful for the memories they gave you, and move on to the next chapter.


  5. Never respond to cruelty, harshness, or ignorance. If someone is treating you like you’re the gum on someone’s shoe, it’s time to walk away and surround yourself with the love and respect YOU deserve. If someone continues to disrespect your sensitivity, your heart, your weaknesses, kiss them goodbye. You don’t need that toxicity in your life. Once you realize that, your life will be so much more freeing. 


  6. Respect is a two-way street. You have to give a little, to get a little. ‘Nuff said.


  7. Don’t show up to every argument that you’re invited to. Sometimes, people will be downright bitchy. And, they’ll feel like picking a fight. They won’t accept your apologies, will bring up past mistakes, and will just be miserable…for no reason (and there will be days when you’re like that too). When that happens, you don’t have to feed into it. Step away.


  8. Oral communication is better than written. This is a lesson I continuously learn over and over again. The written word is so misconstrued. Simply put: it’s bullshit. But, we still do it. Tones are easily misread, fights break out from what started as a meaningless conversation, and I don’t know about you, but I’m really beginning to value face to face time with those I care about, instead of looking at a screen, trying to interpret what they’re saying. Pick up the phone. Talk to people. Visit them. You’ll be glad you did.


  9. Opinions are like a**holes: EVERYBODY has them. No matter what you do, or how hard you try, everyone will always have something to say. There will always be people out there that you seemingly can never please. So, ignore the opinions of others, stop trying to fit into their mold, and just live your life. Do what makes YOU happy, what makes YOU fulfilled. You only get one life, live it the way you want to – with no limitations, and no need for validation or acceptance from anyone.


  10. Fear is stupid. Never let it hold you back from ANYTHING. There are things that we’re all afraid of. Things that make us queasy, anxious, and panic. But, I’ve learned that at some point, you will always have to face your fears – and by doing so, you grow stronger, you overcome what you thought you never could, and you might even gain a little confidence. It’s a very hard thing to do, and takes a lot of practice, but once you put your fears aside and just do it, you’ll be able to live your life to the fullest.

Lastly, as an added bonus, I’ve learned that optimism is everything. When you have a positive attitude, you can truly let your light shine. You were created to fulfill a purpose, and to radiate sunshine into the lives of others. It’s an exercise. Every. Single. Damn. Day. And it takes so much determination. But, being positive is worth the effort. Sure, you may fall off the wagon, and that’s okay – you are human after all, but keep working on choosing happy….because….*and get ready for the mic drop* literally everything in this life is a choice, and how you choose to react to your circumstances.

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A Letter to My Single Self

This letter is for anyone who is struggling through a season of singleness right now. It’s for me, for you, the ones who are sweating the single life right now, so listen up.


Dear Allison,

The other day you were asked a question that made your blood boil and your skin crawl. “Why are you still single?” “Don’t you want to date?” “What’s the deal with that?” You felt obligated to answer. You felt obligated to defend yourself. Yet, you were at a loss for words. You smiled and said that you haven’t found the one yet, but on the inside, all you wanted to say was that it is nobody’s business, and to never ask you that again. 

You dwelled on that question for the remainder of the night and then you began to fall into that dangerous trap of self-loathing. You told yourself that you’re ugly, you’re fat, and you’re not worthy of love. You convinced yourself that nobody can love you, (never mind the fact that you’re only 23 years old.), and you have begun to resolve yourself to the fact that you will be forever alone, living with ten cats. You remind yourself that you’ve never had a real relationship, so surely, it must be too late for you. 

Seriously, what is up with those thoughts girlfriend? They’re unhealthy and they cause you so much misery. I’m here to tell you to take those thoughts of yours and put them in the garbage. For good. You’ve been telling yourself these lies for years now, and you’ve started to believe them. They have become part of your core beliefs now. Those should not be going through your mind. What should be going through your mind is: why am I not being kinder to myself?! I need to give myself a break!

Let me tell you something: you’re 23 years old. Your life has just begun. Why are you letting your relationship status define who you are? So what if you haven’t found your true love yet? Maybe you’re just not ready. Maybe he’s not ready. Maybe God has other plans in store for you before you settle down. Maybe God wants you to develop a loving, and gentle relationship with Him (and yourself!) first. 

You don’t think so, but you are in such a good place in your life. You’re learning to spread your wings and fly on your own. You just graduated from college, you’re in your first “big girl” job, and you’re just starting to settle into adulthood. You’re in that part of your life where you’re finding out who you are, and what you want. 

You have the chance to relish in your freedom, in your space. To answer to no one, but yourself  Why don’t you just simply enjoy the season you’re in right now? 

It’s okay to enjoy your single life, you know. It’s okay to live, laugh, learn, dream, explore, and create…all on your own. It’s okay to be happy on your own. Let yourself be happy.

Let’s pause for a moment: throughout your young life you have had opportunities to change who you are in order to get a guy. You’ve had many chances to compromise yourself and your values to fit in with others, but, you didn’t. And you know something? That is really freakin’ brave! Stop putting yourself down for that, and start patting yourself on the back!

You could have settled for one of those egotistical, machismo, boys in high school. You could’ve thrown yourself at the guys you worked with. But, you didn’t. Why? You had, and still have respect for yourself. You refuse to be anyone’s play toy. You know what you want, you know what you deserve, and you refuse to settle for anyone less. Bravo!

Truth is, you’re a badass. I know you rarely ever feel like one, but you are. You’ve chosen to accept the path that is destined for you, instead of rail against it. That’s something to be proud of. Walk with confidence, walk with your head held high. I know you want to hurry through this season of singleness, but remember, there is a blessing in this. 

Lean on your Faith. Focus on putting your relationship with God first, and yourself second. The rest will fall into place in due time. God wouldn’t have you in this season if there wasn’t something good to come from it. Change your perspective, change your thinking. Instead of focusing on what or who you don’t have, focus on the things and the ones that you DO. 

You’re surrounded by a great group of family and friends. Stop wasting your time looking at your Facebook page to see who else got engaged or started a family, and start being in the present moment, loving those who love you with every ounce of your soul.

Remember, this is a beautiful and messy time in your life, but that is perfectly fine.  You’re an amazing person who will one day find someone to complete you. For now, practice gratitude, practice happiness, practice kindness and compassion. Pour the love you’d be giving to that special someone, into yourself, your family, your friends, and your passions. Have experiences, take chances, GROW, get healthy, trust in yourself, and do not be afraid. 

Love,

You.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you ” Jeremiah 29: 11-12

 

Dear Anxiety, Let’s Be Friends

Dear anxiety,

You and I have been together for three years now. During that time, I desperately tried to get rid of you, and I wouldn’t be lying if I said that I still want you gone. But, like it or not, you are a part of me. So, instead of fighting with each other, can we try to get along? 

I know you want to protect me and warn me of the dangers in this world. But, here’s the thing: you don’t have to warn me all of the time. Not everything, or everyone is harmful to me. You see, the stressful thoughts and feelings that you play on the movie screen in my mind are not helpful. In fact, they cause extreme stress and discomfort on my body. The physical symptoms that you bring exhaust me. They make me feel horrible. 

Perhaps, you don’t quite know what you do to me because you think you’re keeping me safe. But, you’re not. Instead, you make me hide from life, from adventure, from the normal things that make me happy. You tend to take awesome things, turn them into a million questioning thoughts, and cause me to always be on the defense. 

And, I have to tell you something. You’re wrong. A lot of the time. You don’t like to live in reality. Remember when you told me that I could never be a travel agent? That I couldn’t make it through training, and wouldn’t be smart enough to handle it? Well, guess what? I’m doing it. I sold my first Disney trip, by myself! I have a great group of co-workers who are always willing to help me when I need it. You just became afraid because this was all a new experience to you. 

Remember when you told me that I could never go out to dinner again because of that one time when you gave me a panic attack? Or when you told me that my friend was mad at me because she didn’t text me back….only to find out later that she was simply busy! See? You overreact to a lot of things. 

You’re not all bad though. You do have good intentions. Some of your reminders are actually useful to me. I love that you want me to be cautious when I’m driving. I like that you really don’t want me to make a mistake at work. That shows me that you really do care. I can handle that constructive criticism!

But, majority of the time, your endless chatter gives me nothing but heartache. You want me to spend every moment of my life with you, obsessing over past mistakes, or things that could go wrong, instead of spending time with those I love. Trust me when I say that I love the people in my life. They are beyond precious, and life itself is beyond precious. I want to start being there for them 110%. I want to give them a clear mind, clear heart, and I want to simply enjoy the ones that God blessed me with.

That’s why I’m choosing not to believe you anymore. I’m choosing not to listen to you all of the time. I’m deciding how I want to live my life now. I want it to be filled with fun, adventurous things. I want my life to be completely overwhelmed with love, laughter, and faith. When your thoughts come into my mind, I’m simply saying to you, “thank you for your concern, but I am FINE.” I’m choosing to stand up to you. 

I’ve finally realized that no amount of worrying or obsessing with you can change the past or the future. You don’t hold that type of power. You don’t actually prevent bad things from happening. All you do is make me depressed, weary, and stop enjoying the good things that life has to offer. You make me dim my light when all I want to do is shine it for the world to see. 

It’s likely that you will be a part of my life forever. So, to make it easier on both of us, why don’t we just stop the panic, stop the worrying, and let’s be happy together? I understand that you will show your face from time to time, but let’s not make it so often. Let’s relax together, take some deep breaths and be brave. When you don’t fill my mind with anxious thoughts, you allow me to be creative, to be excited, to be the REAL me. You allow me to dream, and to work on that dream. You allow me to take chances, tap into my faith, and think positively. I want more of those moments. 

When you cooperate with me, and stop being in the driver’s seat, you and I can do wonderful things. Maybe things that will inspire us, or others. Maybe things that might change someone else’s life. Let’s shake hands, call a truce, and let me & God take the wheel. 

With lots of gentleness and love,

Your person. 

 

 

 

From Broken to Warrior

“But my dear, isn’t it through the cracks how the light comes in?”

~ Unknown

I once heard a story about a woman who had two buckets. Every day she would fill them up and go water all of the flowers in her garden. One of the buckets, looked absolutely perfect. Shiny, strong, and didn’t have a single crack in it. The other bucket however; was filled with cracks. It leaked, it shook, and it often spilled the water.

The leaky bucket felt inferior to the other one. It felt inadequate, and worthless. What good could a cracked bucket do? The other one held its water flawlessly, while this bucket would lose half of the water before even making it to the garden. It was then that this broken and bruised bucket told its owner that it was not good enough for her. 

“I’ve been leaking water every morning” the bucket said.”I’m so sorry for making life more difficult for you. I’m so sorry for being broken. It’s time that you replace me with a new, better, and more efficient bucket” it said to the owner. 

The owner simply smiled and said: “Do you think I haven’t noticed your cracks? I see them, but I look past them.” “Look at all of these beautiful flowers” the owner said. “I may have planted the seeds, but you are the one that is doing the watering each and every day to make them grow tall and strong.”


 

How do you view the cracks in your bucket? Do you nurture them with tenderness & loving care? Or do you judge & shame them for being there?

I think we’re all a little broken. We get hurt, we make mistakes, our hearts break, our flaws show, and we begin to shame ourselves.

So often we beat ourselves up for our weaknesses and shortcomings. We’re not tall enough, we’re not skinny enough, we’re not pretty, or strong, or brave enough. Maybe we have something that embarrasses us. Maybe we’ve made mistakes and can’t even begin to forgive ourselves. Maybe we’re allowing ours or others’ opinions of us consume & define who we are. 

Can you relate? I know that I sure can.

My biggest toxic habit is putting myself down. I look at my flaws, my imperfections, and my mistakes, all as failures. I constantly punish myself for not being like everyone else. I constantly second guess my value, my worth, and my “lovable” factor.  I deal with insecurity and confidence almost on a daily basis. *Seriously people, self-depreciation is not a healthy trait to have.*

After hearing that story – or parable – above though, something changed. It was like a switch flipped in my brain. I had the absolute wrong perspective about myself and my flaws.

Instead of drawbacks, what if these annoying imperfections are really blessings in disguise? What if they really make us shine? What if they give us a purpose? What if our brokenness, our cracks, all water a trail of flowers that we didn’t even know exist? Or a trail of flowers that we were too blind to appreciate?

Drop the mic. Let that sink in.

I have a beautiful piece of cracked glass in my home. When the sun shines upon it, it brings out the most breathtaking colors. It fills the room with shades of green, blue, red, and yellow. It’s like a rainbow burst and landed right in my living room.

That too, got me thinking.

If light can shine through a cracked object such as that, and make it so beautiful, what makes me any different? Why can’t light shine through our cracks and bring out our own unique and timeless beauty?

Big news coming….are you ready? It can. Our greatest strengths can come from our greatest weaknesses. But, we have to allow it. We have to be receptive, open our hearts, open our minds, and allow that energy in.

We have to be warriors and stop shaming ourselves. Instead of judging ourselves, lets dig deep inside and gently love those flaws that we were once so ashamed of. Instead of hiding them, lets embrace them. Embrace what we think is undesirable and thank the good Lord for the path that we are on.

Because…there’s a reason for it. So, I am making the declaration today to start letting the light in through my cracks. To start seeing the flowers that are growing from my own leaky, crack filled bucket.

So what do you say? Would you join me?


 

Prayer: God, thank you for creating me as an imperfect vessel. Thank you for my flaws, my mistakes, my cracks. Thank you for the wonderful lessons that have come my way because of them. Help me to continue to always see me as YOU see me: your blessed child with whom you love unconditionally. Help me to recognize that you are with me every step of the way, holding my hand, and guiding me down my own path. Amen.

The “S” Word: Why I’m Choosing to Speak Out

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

– Psalm 147:3

Suicide. 

It’s an extremely sensitive, heavy subject that I’ve been debating about touching on for a while now. This is definitely a difficult post to write, but it is oh so necessary. Too often I’m seeing or hearing about adolescents and even adults who take their own lives. That breaks my heart beyond belief.

Why? Because I’ve been there. I am there. I have felt those feelings of wanting to end my own life. It is the scariest feeling in this world. Instead of continuing to silence myself about this topic, I’ve decided to share my story.


I was fourteen years old when I first contemplated suicide. I was a freshman in high school, and I was getting bullied severely. It wasn’t physical bullying, but verbal. The kind that feel is the hardest to deal with.

It all started when I decided to befriend another quiet, introverted, and intelligent soul like myself. People had been making fun of her and her lifestyle since 7th grade – myself included. I’m ashamed to admit that now. Hurting someone in order to fit in with the crowd, to fit in with my so-called “friends.” Ick. 

After some time of getting to know this girl, I discovered that there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. She didn’t party, didn’t compromise her values – or her body – for a one night stand with a boy. She didn’t hurt others in order to lift herself up. She was a straight A student who knew who she was and stood boldly in her confidence.

We’ve lost contact since the good old days of high school, but back then, she really was a beautiful person on the inside and out.

Slowly, but surely we became friends – which meant that I was now part of the “freak show duo” as we came to be known. Every morning I would walk into school to hear a crazy rumor about me that my former “friends” were spreading. I’d find little notes inside my locker that reminded me of how “weird” I was.

I’d receive instant messages from my classmates making empty threats to “beat me up in the parking lot.” I’d log onto Facebook and see my profile picture all “colored” up and spread on my classmates’ public pages. I was called ugly, fat, a dyke…pretty much every cruel name under the sun.

I had the honor of having old, beat up cars named after me. My classmates would frequently pass around pictures of their cars all decorated and captioning them “trying to make Allie look girly,” “dressing up Allie to make her pretty.” They said it was no easy task.

Every day felt like survival of the fittest for me. Everyone told me to ignore the hateful comments of my peers, and I tried. Hard. But, the more that I didn’t stand up for myself, the more I pretended not to hear what they were saying about me, the more they did it.

The hatred I felt toward them burned so deep. The thought of seeing those people made me sick to my stomach each morning. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. My self-esteem was gone. I had nervous breakdowns. I would sob into my mother’s arms after school.

I became severely depressed, dejected, and hopeless. I was rejected, lonely, hurt, and I didn’t want to live anymore. I didn’t want to have to deal with my peers anymore. I wanted to escape, and I wanted to escape badly. That’s when the suicidal thoughts began rushing in my mind like a flood.

One evening, when my parents weren’t home, I paced back and forth with a bottle of pills in my hand. I was too afraid to physically harm myself, so I figured that was the best option. I wrote out a note to my family, apologizing for who I was and how much pain I caused them. I apologized for being abnormal.

And then….I cried. Big, heavy sobs. Because I realized that I didn’t want to end my life. I didn’t want to die. I tore out the note and threw it away. 

When I finally told my parents how I was feeling, it was like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders. Granted, they were scared. At that time in my life, the only people who knew about my suicidal thoughts were my parents and grandparents. And thank God they did. They protected me when I couldn’t protect myself.

With their help and their immense love and support, I made it through that incredibly difficult period in my life. I slowly overcame the suicidal thoughts, and was sure that I would never have to deal with them again.  And, I didn’t. For a while, at least.


I’d be lying if I said that I don’t struggle with depression and suicidal thoughts anymore. Because, I do. It’s not an everyday occurrence, but lately I’ve been catching myself in the midst of these dark thoughts again. And, instead of fighting them, I feed into them. Thus, strengthening their powers over me.

I’ve discovered that those feelings are always a product of my reaction and attitude toward circumstances around me. They present themselves the most when I compare myself to others, put myself down, or when I set unrealistic expectations for myself and fail to achieve them. They destroy everything around me – including my friendships and relationships.

This week I had one of my lowest days that I’ve had in a long time. Nothing went right that day. I woke up in extremely depressed, barely having the energy or desire to go to work. My workday was horrendous, my self-esteem was as dry as the desert. I was in a turmoil of self loathing due to obsessive scrolling on Facebook looking at everyone’s picture perfect lives, I could not keep the pesky tears from falling, and I could not find a way to climb out of the endless black tunnel I was in.

My family tried to encourage me, tried to help me get through the day, and in the past, it worked. But that day, I simply wasn’t receptive. I didn’t want to be. Someone would try to light my candle, and I was right there to extinguish the flame. That’s when I realized that I hit rock bottom. My family and friends could no longer “cure” me and I certainly couldn’t cure myself alone anymore. Nothing that anyone was saying was helping me. I didn’t feel human, and for the first time in a while, my own feelings started to scare me.

It was a turning point. I honestly believe that day happened for a reason. I needed it to happen. With a tug on my heart from God, and advice and care from a friend who is one of my biggest inspirations, I decided it’s time to hang on, hold on, and get healthy. 

For the first time in my life, I am seeking counseling. 

While I used to be incredibly embarrassed about that, I’m not anymore. I can’t be. By being ashamed and embarrassed, and living in denial that I don’t need professional help, I’m only contributing to the stigma that I definitely want to end.

Because of all this, I’ve made a decision to pursue my Masters degree, and eventually, my PhD in Christian Ministry and Counseling at Liberty University in Virginia.


I’m sharing this because there really is such power in vulnerability. It is extremely difficult to talk about mental illness, and it can be nerve-wracking to confront the reality of this issue.

However; in my opinion, the thought of other people like me who are suffering in silence is heartbreaking. So, when I invade my Facebook friends’ news feed with mental health articles, when I talk about my own struggles and victories, it is with these hopes:

To reach out a hand to someone, anyone, and let them know they are NOT and NEVER will be alone. 

To tell them over, and over, and over again how beautiful and purposeful their lives are. 

To have a chance to introduce them to God, and build a special relationship with Him. 

To show them love, compassion, and acceptance for who they are. 

To bring back joy and freedom to their lives. 

To help them heal – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

To tell them to NEVER give up. Never give in to darkness. Because it WILL be okay. You WILL get through this. 

and…

To educate the public that mental health is a real and important issue in today’s world, and the stigma against it, needs to stop. 

So, I will be writing about my journey. I will be reaching out, and hopefully, just hopefully, touching a few lives and hearts in the process.


Prayer: Lord, I know you created me, and every human being in your own likeness. I know that nothing in my journey will be wasted. I trust there is a purpose for my struggles. Please help me be a beacon of hope to someone out there. Help me to spread the Word of Your unfailing and never-ending love. Help me to do Your work, and to use my story for Your greater purpose. I pray for those who are struggling in darkness right now. Show them your brilliant light. Wrap them up in your humble and most Holy arms. In Jesus’ name, Amen. 


If you or someone that you know is having suicidal thoughts or are in crisis, please call 1-800-273-TALK (8255), or visit National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

 

 

{Starting Over} + Introduction

I’ve been blogging for about two years now. This whole journey has been such a learning process for me. When I started writing back in 2014, I had no idea that I was about to discover another passion of mine.

I was in my third year at Utica College when I saw a job opening for a student blogger. I didn’t know a whole heck of a lot when it came to that (and still don’t!), but, it sounded so interesting, and I was pretty sure it would be something I enjoyed. So, I took the leap, my application was accepted, and I soon became an official student blogger for Utica College.

I absolutely loved my job. My requirements were to write about events going on in and around campus, as well as the community. Basically, anything was acceptable as long as it had something to do with college life or community topics.

Gradually, I found my voice and realized that I loved to give people advice, or share my stories with other college students. Sharing helpful hints to my peers became a regular part of my writing. Anytime someone shared or commented, it felt so great. Especially because I was relieved to have finally found my talent. (It only took me 20 years of nonstop searching.)


 

When I graduated from college, I knew that I still wanted to write. I still wanted my voice to be heard, and I still had an incredible desire to help others – in some way. So, I dubbed myself “The Positive Princess” and jumped in all the way into blogging. And completely drowned.

I did build a following – which was terrific. I managed to have a couple of my blogs go viral and be published on other blogging sites. I got to make friends with a few people who lived a billion miles away from me, but who loved to write and have an impact on people as much as I did. *Shoutout to Jenifer Fair – the founder of Shoutout Radiance! Seriously guys, check out her work. She’s so inspirational and is going to change so many lives!*

Somewhere along the way though, I lost my fire. I lost my passion for writing. I lost my focus. It was becoming more like a chore than a cathartic hobby. I was caught up in reading about becoming a professional blogger, and striving to be the perfect writer. The more I read about blogging, the more I wanted to achieve success and be that perfect blogger.

I would sit at the computer every night, trying to write something that would be meaningful, positive, profound, and successful. When that didn’t happen, sometimes I would publish something, just to publish. After all, all of the tips on blogging said that 2-3 posts per week was the norm!

When I couldn’t think of a single thing, when I felt negative, or that article didn’t do as well as I hoped, I punished myself. I beat myself up and completely lost all confidence in writing. It took me a little while to realize that the way I was approaching writing….was all wrong. I felt a stirring in me to take a little breather from writing, to gain my focus back, and to completely start over. And that is what I am doing…


I am breaking free from my need to be perfect. I am breaking free from the need for likes, shares, and comments on social media.

I don’t want glory or success. I don’t want praise. I don’t want compliments.

What I want, is to make a positive impact in this world. If that can be done through my writing, then that will be enough for me.

If my story about my anxiety, my depression, or just my life in general can change someone, my heart will be filled with joy.

I want to focus on being real in my writing. Being myself. Being unedited. I want to build a blog that matters. That people can identify with. I want to inspire others – in the hopes that someone out there will read my words and know that they are not or never will be alone.

I plan to be an open book in this blog. Completely vulnerable. Which, scares me a little bit, but that is what is tugging at my heart. I don’t plan to be all sunshine and rainbows all of the time. Because that’s not reality. BUT; I do plan to be as encouraging as possible, walking down the path that my Lord and Savior put me on. And, I hope you’ll join me.


Prayer: Lord, as I begin this new writing adventure, help me to focus on what YOU want me to put into the world. Let me be a positive light to others, and let me bring the light of Your love into others. Please walk beside me and guide my way. Use me as an imperfect vessel to reach out to those in need. I accept Your will for my life, today and always. Amen.